How to start
by lexisss
Summary: -Women are troublesome...- She's still that woman. He's still that guy. And they need help.//Mom will help you. And that's the real problem... ShikaxTema / Don't read if you don't like it XP


Disclaimer: do not own Naruto / Shikamaru or Temari///// loll even if i want to----

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How to start

"_What do you want from me mom…"_

"We should go now…"said Temari in a quiet voice. " Your dad is already at home."

"Just a little more..."answered Shikamaru after he saw the girl turning away from his eyes. After this sentence she looked back at him. Of course she understood his situation, but… He's suffering. She can see it. After he cried in the previous month, she thought, he won't hurt himself so much then, but he's just turning away from her, not let to see the tears in his eyes, whenever she looks at him.

She would say something like: This is an inevitable way of the life. He cannot do anything to change it.

But she wouldn't. No. She knows she can't understand him right now.

She lost her parents a long time ago, and she has only her brothers now. How could she understand him? Losing his mom… After a two month long special mission, in the snow country.

Maybe she was too harsh with him... If she could just walk away, let him be alone. Or … Would he be as harsh to her, as she was back then, if she gives him an embrace? She chose neither of them.

"I'm… I'm not used to…" she couldn't finish it. She had so many thoughts in her mind. Wouldn't it be easier if she just say sorry? "I didn't want to upset you, back in the forest… I didn't mean it. I'm sorry," she started, but Shikamaru said nothing.

The sun was getting down after another half an hour and she still stood beside him, in front of the grave.

"You were right. "

"About what?" she asked quietly, meanwhile the boy searched for a cigarette, and a lighter. Temari looked at him with a sense of annoyance but then her eyes softened. He lighted a cigarette and blew the smoke out. Some moments passed by when he finally sighed.

"If I can't make a choice about what's the best, how could I save all the people who I love? It's your fault, if they die because you weren't able to save them in time. As a commander or a child…" Temari sighed and sat down aside.

"This was not your fault." she said and touched his shoulder. "You weren't even here… How could you do then anything? You did nothing wrong. As a commander, as a friend…" she tried to comfort him, but he is just so complicated. She never understood that hardness, what he gave her with every glance. He always played the strong guy. He always wanted to save his friends. Doesn't matter what it cost. Even if he dies...

"She said I shouldn't go on this mission. Mom was already ill, and father was on a mission in the mist too."

"She just wanted you to-"

"No…"he cut her off. "She knew that. She knew that mom won't be able to stop me… I wanted to raise some money on my own. But I wanted to be beside my mother too. And when I finally had a chance to do my business, I left her… It was my fault she died. Mine and nobody else's." then he stumped the cigarette.

So this was it about. Tsunade said, she won't live for long, and he wanted to help to his father with the house and with the animals. When Shikaku went to that mission, Shikamaru was with Yoshino every night. When she was in the hospital he always brought her favourite flowers. He wasn't momma's little boy, but Temari was sure, he was scared. He really cared for her, even if he didn't show it.

That was four months ago.

But now… It's more than enough. If he doesn't move on, he will eat up himself!

"Why are we still here?" asked the girl aloud.

"It's my business. You don't have to stay." he answered with a little pain in his voice.

"It's not that. You still want to do something. I know."

"You don't know anything."

"Maybe. But I'm not going anywhere until you say it!" she said with a little anger, and stood up. "You cannot blame yourself forever Shikamaru! It wasn't your fault she was ill! It wasn't yours that you had to go on this mission with me!" he just listened. "Your father was right. You can't let things go… But if you don't learn how to loose things you love, tell me, how can you call yourself a shinobi!" Shikamaru just waited for the end of her monologue. Tch … Troublesome woman. She's just yelling always… Why can't she just shut up? He doesn't need her to tell him these things. Her bullshit is nothing. Just annoying.

"You don't need to yell woman." he muttered.

"I yell when I want! Just please! Say something! You can't go on like this! " she yelled, and grabbed him by his vest. He'll loose his control if she goes on like this. He was about to say a word about how troublesome she is, but she interrupted his thoughts.

"Do you know how hard this is to me? Do you know how much I hate to see you like this? Do you know how much I want to see that stupid grin of yours?!" she shouted these words now. Shikamaru watched the floor, but when he looked up to say something, he could see the tears in her eyes, even if she tried to shake them out.

She felt bad and stupid. But she can't bear with him like this. Idiot! How can he make her cry? By the reason of nonsense.

They stayed like this for a moment then she looked away and let him down. She felt really stupid now. She shouldn't be yelling about her problems.

Shikamaru, in the other hand, didn't know why she is crying. Why is she here? And why is she even care about him like some kind of lo- W-wait a minute… What is he thinking?! What the hell?! Hm… But if she… Is she really… I mean-

"Sorry. I have to go." said Temari quickly, before she would say something she may regret later. He watched her turning away, but when she was about to go, he stopped her, and grabbed her wrist. She turned back and faced with his black eyes.

"Why do you care so much?" he asked her. She didn't know how to answer. "Why do you care about what I am doing?" she took her hand away and started to go again.

"Figure it out, idiot!" she yelled and with that, she left.

Shikamaru just watched her leave, not knowing what to say or to do. He felt really bad too. Maybe he shouldn't be so cold with her, when she just wanted to help.

Damn…

"Women are complicated, ne mom?"

_"Just like you..."_

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Okay guys^^ here I go!!  
first...I don't speak the language very well, so there can be mistakes, ne?  
I hope you liked it:P even though I'm suck at languages xD  
I think this can be a two shot...If I'll have time to write it^^

**Thanks for reading^^ aaand PLEASE!!! I would be happy/ I mean REALLY HAPPY if I could read some reviews^^**  
Tschüß _×××lexa_


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